After chemo round five, I ended up in the hospital for six days to deal with an infection. I had two surgeries — one to clean out a festering wound and one to remove the wound vac/irrigation thingy and to make sure the infection was gone.

I hate hospitals. I really, really do. Hospitals are the worst place for getting any kind of good sleep or rest. So not surprisingly, I was wide awake quite late one night. Probably around 2 a.m., because I couldn’t sleep at all, I kept thinking over and over about that saying “everything happens for a reason.”

Everything happens for a reason.

Ugh. Shut up. There is no reason for all this. Leave me alone.

Because no. This just isn’t right.

Everything happens for a reason.

Not now.

Everything happens for a reason.

No. No, it doesn’t. That’s so stupid. There is no reason for this.

I was in a good mood as you can tell.

I’ve heard that saying often and likely have said it myself, maybe even written it in one of these blog posts. We mean well when we say it, but it just wasn’t working for me. My mind kept turning that sentence over and over in my head. I couldn’t get rid of it.

I just kept thinking about cancer and it was so real to me that the only purpose of cancer is to steal, kill and destroy. There is NO good in it. All cancer does is voraciously take over and destroy all the cells around it. It doesn’t care that it’s killing you. There is no good in cancer. At all. In any way. It is in no way benevolent to us. So how can good come from it? How can good come from me going through all this pain? From something that is actively trying to kill me?

Then all of a sudden, an answer became so clear: Stuff happens. Period.

BUT… because God is so good and kind and loving, He infuses reason into it. He gives life into death. He gives good into evil. He gives reason, meaning, hope, purpose into darkness.

Stuff happens. Because we make bad choices.

Stuff happens. Because others make bad choices.

Stuff happens. Mainly because we are on this side of Heaven.

Stuff happens.

Life will never be perfect here. We are going to have to go through it. In some way, at some time. We do not get out of this world unscathed.

But there is a God who loves us so much that He can take that stuff and work it for good. He can take evil, pain, abuse, sickness, and all kinds of bad and bring out peace, healing, purpose, meaning, hope. Stuff happens, but in His hands, eventually, some how, some way, all that [excrement] can be used to help others, strengthen you, provide hope, show your beauty, surround you with love, give your life new perspective and direction.

In His hands, all kinds of good can happen. It helps if we let Him.