LAUNDRY
What would I do without you laundry?
How would I spend those hours in my day?
What would I do without you laundry?
Why can’t you fold and put yourself away?
Your constant piling up is more than I can understand.
What would I do without your love?

New day, at least one more load of laundry. Yippee!! Without laundry, I may not know I was actually awake, up and living. It’s too much of a fantasy to have it all washed, folded and put away at any given moment, or ever.

DISHES
“Does anyone know where the dishwasher is?” I ask rather loudly.
“Mommy, it’s right here in front of you,” answers the young one.
“Gosh, I wonder how all these dishes get in there?” I ask as I point from the sink to the dishwasher. “How does that happen?”
“Somebody has to put them in,” she answers brightly. She’s sooo smart.
“Ooooh, I see. Aren’t you a somebody?”
“Well, yeah, but I don’t want to.”
“Aaaaah, it all makes so much more sense now.”
Phase 2 of dish care responsibility commences as I regale them with tales of how for a time, alongside my brother, I WAS the dishwasher AND dryer AND putter-awayer, all in one evening, every evening. Life sure was rough back in the day. Sigh.

FOOD
“Can I have…?”
“No.”
“But I just want…”
“No.”
“You’re the meanest mommy ever.”
“Don’t you ever forget it.”

BATHROOM
Don’t even get me started. Why is there more toothpaste in the sink than in the tube?

“Did you see the hamper to put your clothes in?”
“No mommy, I didn’t notice it at all.”
“The bathroom is pretty small, it’s kind of hard to miss, you know, with having to step around it and all. Come here and take a look.” We walk to the bathroom. “See that? I’d like your clothes to go in there.”
“Oh wow, I didn’t see that at all.”
She really is my child in so many ways.

MISCELLANEOUS
Does your coat really go there? on the floor directly in front of the door? in the middle of the living room? in the hallway? on the kitchen floor? Do your shoes go there, really? Please put your backpacks and school junk somewhere other than all over the place. That goes for your hats, mittens, gloves, socks, shirts, brushes, toys, books, towels…

Speaking of towels, don’t leave your wet towels balled up on the floor, stuffed in the corner. They get really stinky that way. If you hang it up, the towel can be used more than once. Really, it can.

“Why is every light in the house on?”

“Shut the door, it’s 30 (or 99) degrees outside.”

SCHOOL WORK
Listen kid, I already went to elementary school, high school, and graduated from college. I got decent grades too. I don’t need to learn this. I’m here to help, not to DO your work or give you all the answers. I know some other moms do the work for their kids, but you’re lucky enough to have me. You’re the one that has to learn this and I can’t do that for you. So, use your super smart brain and get to it.

PRAYERS
I am humbled by their concern and willingness to pray consistently and boldly for other people. I have, at times, been blown away when they go “off script” with their prayers. They put me to shame for my unwillingness to pray for certain things because I fear the answer no. I pray one thing I never teach them is to be afraid to ask their heavenly Father for all that’s on their hearts. Keep approaching Him without fear, sweet ones, and always know that your Father cares deeply for you.

But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14 (NLT)