Um, you’re doing it wrong

So apparently, out there among the very large problems of our time, one of the most incendiary topics in our society is a raging debate about which direction toilet paper should hang from a toilet paper roll holder.

On the whole, this display of diametrically opposing ideas seems to be done mostly in jest and good nature. However, I do remember working with a woman who would lecture us in the break room when someone hung the paper towels the “wrong” way. Jinkies dudette, chill. I’m off the clock, eating lunch.

How did she not appreciate that someone took like five seconds out of his or her life to hang that baby up and not let it go wherever its little paper heart unrolled? And that it takes like zero extra time to unroll it the wrong way as opposed to the right way? I can only imagine her stern, unwavering stance on the whole toilet paper thing.

For sure, we all have our preferences. However, may I suggest, ever so delicately, with much love and kindness, that if you have a very strong, adamant attachment to which direction toilet paper should unroll off the holder, and get angry when others do it your wrong way, that possibly, perhaps, perchance, you might, maybe, likely, need to talk a few things out with someone who knows how to draw things out. I am sure I must be totally wrong about that, but would you at least consider the possibility?

I’m not saying your undeniably correct way doesn’t have merit, it’s just a little lost on me. I’m trying to understand, but… I mean… well… if you think about it, ultimately the whole tp thing revolves around something that wipes butts. You know what I’m saying? In the end, personally I’m just happy toilet paper exists and that, as a former two-time kidney failure-ee, I can actually pee, which makes a huge difference in life quality. You know? Well, hopefully you don’t know, but I assure you, peeing is a good thing.

I guess I wonder when we started making such a BIG. GINORMOUS. DEAL. about. EVERYTHING. Why do we have to be exactly right? all. the. time? Why do we have to completely agree with each other or be completely at odds? People who don’t want to be told they’re wrong have no problem dictating to others what to think and how to act, thus becoming just like the people they claim cause so much harm. Do they not see that? Sometimes it seems like we’re moving in the direction of the thoughtcrime land of 1984.

You can stand up for what you believe all you want—you simply don’t have to correct every single thing and save every last person from their wrongness. Besides being completely annoying, you just can’t. You know people don’t like to feel controlled, right? I know it’s super easy to fall into that control trap every once in a while. It’s just that some are far more dedicated to living in the trap than others. It can be a comfortable, yet exhausting, home.

Rather than dictate WHAT IS RIGHT, why not try connecting with others on a personal level? You can still hold strong to your beliefs and convictions as you listen. Be warned, you may feel a teeny touch of compassion as you hear their story. Then, maybe real love, with a dash of understanding, will help you not only better stand in the gap for them, but also walk the path with them to a better way.

If you think about it, isn’t this a little something like what God did for us? He reached out to us through Jesus, because He wanted us to know He loves us. And because He cares so much, Jesus will walk the dark paths with us to lead us to the better one—a path that leads right to His heart.

In the long run, uniformity doesn’t necessarily ensure peace and unity, and disruption and conflict are not foregone conclusions of being different from one another. Unity stems from serving the same purpose together, not thinking the exact same thing. Peace comes from living in truth, not forcing others to think and believe it. Over all this, love covers, and leads the way out of, a multitude of sins.

2 thoughts on “Um, you’re doing it wrong

  1. I used to think that tp had to be a certain direction.. then I lived in Africa for two years and found out that most of the locals couldn’t afford it… hmmm… didn’t buy any more baked goods from the road-side locals. Became grateful for what I had.


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